6 Habits of a Healthy Christian Marriage

 Marriage isn't easy, and it's definitely not a walk in the park. It takes two people who are strong-willed and most of all committed. 

My husband and I have been married for two years. Those around us say that we are still in the "honeymoon phase". They don't realize that even though we may be young, we have our priorities in place and of all things, we have our hearts right with God. 

It hasn't always been this way. Sam and I got together when we were seven-teen years old. Life was good and we were just living in the moment. We did not have our lives in order to say the least. We were young and dumb. We thought we knew everything about life. This fits the description of almost every young couple today.

 We were both raised to be believers of God. We were more of what you call, "Luke-warm Christians" at the time. We knew what we needed to do and how we should live. We just didn't, some how we bent the "Christian-lifestyle" in ways that made sense to us at the time. What ever was convenient for us. That's not how it works. 

Soon, it was time to grow up and take this world on as husband and wife. We knew that we had to make changes in our life. If we didn't, our marriage would most likely fail. We needed a fresh start and to set healthy habits in the beginning of our marriage. Most importantly we needed to except God into our marriage. This was the most critical and life changing step we took. My previous blog post about why God is so important in your marriage explains why. You can read it  here. 

We never had the chance to be baptized previously so this was the perfect opportunity. We decided this was something we wanted to do together. We went down to the river and both of us got baptized one right after another. This was a fresh start. Excepting God into our marriage wasn't going to fix everything, but it would be a good start! Not only did we do that, we set other healthy habits in place as well. 

Let's begin. 

1. Excepting God into Our Marriage 

Except God into your marriage, and into your heart. By doing this you create a good foundation for your marriage. If God is for you, then who can be against you? By excepting God into your heart, you learn how to love like him. You learn how to treat your spouse in a Christ-like manner. Worship together, pray together and read your bible together. 

2. Making Time for Each Other 

You need to make time for one another. Life gets crazy and sometimes we don't make this a priority. It's easy to do. Get creative and go on dates, it doesn't have to be somewhere fancy and it doesn't have to be expensive. We go on "dollar menu" dates all the time. Keep it fun and exciting. Don't stop dating each other, it gives you a chance to grow and learn together. Life gets stressful, just relax. Devote your date time to one another. Get rid of distractions and put those phones down! It will be good for both of you, it's time to disconnect from the world and reconnect with your spouse.

3. Being Consistent and Honest with Each Other

In order to have a healthy Christian marriage you must learn how to communicate effectively. This means that you need to discuss schedules, important dates/times, and finances. Finance problems are always the big cause of a divorce. They say that money is the root of all evil and I've seen it destroy marriages. It's always good to make sure your spouse is on the same page. 

Always get their opinion first. My husband and I always discuss things before we proceed. Someone asked me once, "Why do you have to ask permission from your husband?".  My answer was, "It's not asking permission, it's having respect for him". As husband and wife you are a team, and it takes two to make things work. Once you said "I Do" you vowed to become one. By including them into your decisions it builds your trust. This also shows your spouse that you value their opinion. 

This is also a good time to discuss things in your relationship like your emotional needs. Allow them to discuss their needs, and listen with an open heart. Be honest with one another, if something isn't working it's okay. It may be time for a change of plans. 

4. Respecting and Trusting Each Other 

One of the habits we did set from the beginning of our dating relationship was to respect each other. I can honestly say that we have never raised our voice at one another. We find this disrespectful. Screaming and yelling doesn't solve your problems, it only adds to them. If you can't discuss something without anger, it's best to pause and take a breather before you say something you'll regret later. 

This goes hand in hand with respecting each other. Never and I repeat never say ill things about your spouse. This includes speaking about them to friends or family. This is just one of those things that we also said from the beginning was a no-go. You need to develop trust in your relationship from the beginning. Trust is vital in a marriage and without it there's nothing. Thankfully, we have had trust from the beginning and that trust has never been broken. 

5. Becoming Each Other's Strength 

As a Christian wife I vowed to love unconditionally and to faithfully support my husband. I learned to focus on his strengths rather than his weaknesses and to cheer him on. Sometimes we fail, it's life. It's your job as a husband/wife to encourage them. Sometimes we just need a lift. When you aren't sure how you can be a help to your spouse, get on your praying knees and pray for guidance and understanding.

6. Showing Affection towards Each Other 

You should always show affection towards each other, daily even. Whether it's talking to them over the phone, holding hands, or just a quick kiss before heading off to work. Take a few minutes to chat and ask them how their day went. This just shows that you care! Again, just connect with each other. 

Having a healthy marriage takes hard-work, dedication and a whole lot of prayin'. Create habits in your marriage from the start and watch your marriage flourish. Our God is amazing, and with him anything is possible. Include God in all that you do.